Honey, I Can't Find The Baby
by LassieLowrider
Summary: Slice of life, Potter style. Alternatively: Why On EARTH Was That In The NURSERY!
**Fittingly enough, my first post in three years is my first Harry Potter fanfiction in three years.**

 **Inspired by a tumblr post.**

 **I own nothing, as per usual.**

* * *

James was tired, what with Order business, work and a teething baby in the house. That was his excuse, and he was sticking with it. Of course, Lily was even more tired, keeping up with Healer-training on top of it all. James, at least, managed to get out of the house daily, so it had been a rather easy decision for him to offer to take on all night-time rockings and shushings of Harry, something which the currently grouchy baby accepted as graciously as could be expected – that is, not at all.

The one thing that could soothe Harry, no matter what, was the muggle pacifier Lily had gotten him – carefully spelled with an ever-cool charm – and being wrapped so completely in a blanket that the only visible part was his eyes, and that only if you looked for them. That was what James did: plop the pacifier in Harry's mouth – getting glared at by a seven-months old baby was not something he could ever get used to, especially not in the dead of night – while groping around for a blanket to wrap him in.

He was half-asleep, so it was an easy mistake to make. Really.

Having wrapped the now slightly more content baby in a blanket, plopped him in the crib and spelled the ceiling of the nursery with some stars, James headed back to his warm and comfy bed, where his warm and cuddly wife slept. It was with a very silent groan he collapsed into bed, well aware what the repercussions would be if he woke her.

"What. The. HELL, James?!" Of course, his darling wife had no such qualms. He was groggy when he lifted his head from the pillow, something that evaporated when he saw her; as if it wasn't enough that she looked bloody pissed, she also looked scared. In an instant, he was on his feet, wand in hand, ready to defend his home and family from whatever it was that had scared his fearless wife so completely.

"Lily? What is it? Is there an attack?" He started shrugging on yesterday's shirt, just about to begin buttoning it when Lily answered him.

"No, James. Harry is _gone_ , and so is your bloody, inconvenient, invisibility cloak!" James stopped entirely, yesterday's shirt on backwards and glasses crooked, just staring at Lily.

" _Shit_." It was entirely heartfelt, uttered with about the same amount of emotion as he'd put into his vows at their wedding. "I have made a _terrible_ mistake."

For a child who usually couldn't be quiet for more than five minutes at a time, Harry had managed admirably for two hours. Was still managing admirably, if James were to be honest. Remus had turned up about an hour into their search – as scheduled – and had been of no help whatsoever since. He'd _tried_ , of course, but even the heightened senses he sported as a perk of his fluffy little problem was of no use when Harry was wrapped in the ancestral Potter cloak. James was sure – and had heard mutterings to that effect from his wife, too – that this was his overdue punishment for overusing the cloak during their school years.

As the cherry on top, as the icing on the cake, Sirius showed up, looking in askance at the lopsided interior of the house; everything seemed to have shifted about an inch to the left, and be in a state of total panic.

"Prongs? Did you lose something?" James mentally corrected his previous thought: Sirius Black was, simply, the straw that broke the camel's back. Remus broke down in hysterical laughter, while James silently glared at Sirius, contemplating what curse he should use first.

"It's – it's a catastrophe, Sirius, it's horrible!" Remus managed to say, in between bouts of honking laughter.

"James. What did you do? If it's bad enough that Remus – Remus, who would call it a minor setback when there's dirt being shovelled onto his coffin – calls it a catastrophe, I can only assume the world is ending?" James snorted at Sirius's description of Remus – a completely true statement, of course, and an old one that never quite lost its charm – before taking a deep breath and bracing himself.

"We've lost Harry." Sirius went very still, and very silent.

"What do you mean, _you've lost Harry_." James was not feeling any supportive vibes from Remus, despite really needing them right now. Remus was too busy laughing to really care what kind of vibes James needed.

"Well, see, you know how he likes being bundled up in a blanket when he's cranky? Yeah, uh… I kind of…wrappedhimintheCloak." James winced, very happy that Sirius couldn't curse someone just by glaring at them.

"So you mean to tell me that you've lost Harry – my _godson_ – because you wrapped him up in your invisibility cloak. And didn't even notice." Sirius turned so he could bang his head against the wall a few times. "How could you even _do_ that?!" James shrugged in response, scuffing his toes on the floor and looking as guilty as he possibly could.

Before Sirius could chew him out further – quite literally, going by the look in his face – James was happy to see Lily coming down the stairs. She came to a stop a few steps from the bottom, calmly waiting out their stunned silence and then the ensuing guffaws.

"He's in the attic, somewhere. God help me if I ever find out who made Harry so much like his namesake, because if I do, I _will_ kill them." The quiet menace in her tone would probably have had more of an impact if she hadn't been polka-dotted pink and green. James had a feeling that, if he ever wanted any more children, it would be prudent not to mention her complexion.

After much ado, they did manage to find Harry – safely asleep behind his mother's old school trunk, still wrapped as snug as can be in the cloak – and get him out from the attic; not without taking some damage, though. As soon as James had drunk his cup of tea, he'd get right on dispelling the tentacles he was stuck with. That Sirius currently had ears matching Padfoot's seemed a slight less worrying compared to the tentacles, something which even Sirius actually agreed with.

* * *

Having wrapped the now slightly more content baby in a blanket, plopped him in the crib and spelled the ceiling of the nursery with some stars, he headed back to his warm and comfy bed, where his warm and cuddly wife slept. It was with a very silent groan he collapsed into bed, well aware what the repercussions would be if he woke her.

"What. The. HELL, Harry?!" Of course, his darling wife had no such qualms. He was groggy when he lifted his head from the pillow, something that evaporated when he saw her; as if it wasn't enough that she looked bloody pissed, she also looked scared. In an instant, he was on his feet, wand in hand, ready to defend his home and family from whatever it was that had scared his fearless wife so completely.

"Ginny?! What's wrong?"

"James is gone, and so is your invisibility cloak."

" _Shit_." It was entirely heartfelt, uttered with about the same amount of emotion as he'd put into his vows at their wedding. "I have made a _terrible_ mistake."


End file.
